Women Are Getting Very, Very Honest About How Their Partner Changed After They Became A Mom - BuzzFeed

Warning: This post discusses physical, emotional, and verbal abuse.

Having a baby changes everything, but it doesn't always change both partners equally. For some women, the postpartum period reveals a partner who is more caring and present than ever. For others, it exposes something much harder to accept, like a partner who checks out or picks fights. So, we asked women across the internet how their partners treated them after becoming a mom. Here are 23 responses from the BuzzFeed Community and Reddit:

"My son's father, who I'm thankfully no longer with, was an absolute nightmare. He was always childish and prone to anger, but after our son was born two months premature, he really outdid himself. While our son spent a month in the NICU and I recovered from my emergency C-section, he focused solely on himself, his needs, and how my focus had shifted away from him. He demanded sex even though it was painful for me, refused to help with our son in any way, and blamed me for my son being born so early and later being diagnosed with cerebral palsy. I spent the entire month of my son's hospitalization staying in a Ronald McDonald House nearby and dedicating myself fully to my baby boy. Meanwhile, my ex returned home and did everything he could to make me feel alone, terrified, and overwhelmed. He had gotten physical during my pregnancy, but after I had my son, it escalated."

"To make a long story short, I eventually took my son and left. My ex isn't really in my son's life at this point, which is a good thing. Everything has worked out for the best, but the way he treated me after such a traumatic birth and recovery for my son, the resentment runs deep."

—Anonymous, 36, Massachusetts

"My husband really stepped up and became such a help. I had severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome, and my husband waited for me to be able to hold our son before he held him. He happily took all of the milk to the NICU, washed all the pumping gear, and, when our son was discharged, took on half the baby duties. He took extra time off when I went back to work, and he got up with him during the night. I stay home now, but my husband has no problem relieving me when he gets home. We both cook, alternate bedtime with our son, and split chores. When my son is sick, my husband is the one who gets up to give him medicine because he falls back asleep more quickly than I do. If I'm sick, he takes care of everything while I rest, and I do the same for him. I certainly lucked out with him."

"My husband was absolutely amazing after our son was born. He had no issue changing diapers, taking the 5 a.m. feeding before getting ready for work, and handling anything around the house that needed to be done with absolutely no pressure on me. He cooked, cleaned, and got up early with our son so I could sleep in on weekends — anything to make things easier for me. I already knew I had married a wonderful man, but the father he has become? I couldn't have dreamed up anyone better."

—Anonymous, 31, Female, Illinois

"I have had six kids with two partners, and the experience has been completely opposite in both situations. First experience: he came to all appointments, was kind and doting during pregnancy (back rubs every night), and was a great partner during delivery. But once the baby came, I was expected to run the household — while recovering from surgery in one instance — which included all the normal stay-at-home mom responsibilities: cooking, cleaning, driving, scheduling, and grocery shopping, all while battling postpartum depression. He ended up being a massively abusive partner. He called me 'the worst pregnant person of all time' and resented me more with each baby because it took attention away from him. He would do 'inspections' when he got home from work to make sure I had cleaned and would question my every move and every expense. With my next set of kids — with a new partner — things were completely different."

"I am the breadwinner, I own my home, and I pay all the bills. I also genuinely enjoy doing stay-at-home mom things, even though I work more than 60 hours a week as a founder of a successful company.

This partner was not great during pregnancy. He was completely clueless and practiced a healthy amount of weaponized incompetence...until the babies were born. Then it was back rubs, 'Can I get you anything?', and much more help around the house.